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LL Cool Jay was recently interviewed by some paparazzi about whether being struck in the face by a gay person would be something life-changing. What do you think Mr. Cool Jay said?

The response was actually surprising, since the man just laughed heartily, scratched his bonneted head and said that such a thing would only serve to expand his options in life. What in the world does that mean? Is this man trying to suggest something or what? Well, if Mr. LL Cool Jay does decide to hit the stream in three different directions, that’s just fine with us.

Alright, did you know what exactly happened to old Rihanna when Chris Brown struck her? Well, aside from the usual stream of tears that we usually reserve for very bad renditions of The Third Reich, Rihanna was actually advised by a district judge to go ahead and charge Brown for criminal offenses.

And to add to this, Brown was a bit unrepentant about the whole brouhaha. Seems like the fame really does get to some people’s heads. Nonetheless, the couple seems to be okay now. We just hope that this is the last of this.

If you think Michael Jackson was a bit weird (alright, that’s a bit of an understatement but we’re going to stick with it), get a load of his fans. When old king of pop and sway appeared in a theater in Drury, the people around the old man just went ballistic at the sight of the pop star.

Everyone was screaming and wanting to touch old Jacko. Is that creepy or what? And to add to this, Jack was actually quite helpless in fending off all the attention.

Newlyweds Tom and Gisele Brady were seen trashing some flowers after their nice wedding. Does this speak volumes of what’s going to happen to this particularly cute couple?

We don’t know, but we’re thinking this: most newly wed couples are just stoked of their new state as hubby and wife that they try to preserve the nice flowers for as long as they can in watered vases.

But as for this couple, they seem to be more concerned about the potentially cluttering effects of the flowers. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Just kidding. At the John F. Kennedy aiport, rapper Kanye West had been spotted hurrying to the restroom- and his girlfriend did the same thing. Seems that the two lovebirds had been hit hard at the same time and were just absolutely anxious to get to the comfort room.

Do you guys still remember that brouhaha that Kanye caused when he appeared three/four hours late for some show in the US? In his blog, Kanye apologized and stated that he wasn’t actually trying to be a pain in the backside. We’re guessing that he’s just being his natural self.

Right, Michael Jackson is back on the music circuit, and is out to please fans with lots of shows, a good word for just about any fan and incredibly budget tickets. One problem in the first major concert though- the artist Ne-Yo is having a show in the same area at about the same time.

Ne-Yo would probably have to quit his concerts for a while, because all the crowd would be wanting to see is old Jacko doing his tricks once again. Everyone loves an old Michael Jackson. Let’s hope he’s harmless.

That’s right, we think that Ms. Hilton is actually some kind of advocate for women’s rights- she’s advocating the right to wear really short skirts and no panties. Or wearing nothing at all. At least, that’s what we thought when we saw her partying the night away at some disco/bar in Las Vegas.

Looking like a true-blue party girl, Ms. Hilton was wearing a rendition of what appeared to be a silky, embroidered handkerchief. Whether this is an effort to save the trees or sweat shop laborers, remains to be seen.

Everyone is on the environmentalist bandwagon nowadays- even faded A-list stars. Tobey was recently sighted at some street in New York City pedaling his way to health and to global climate non-change. In any case, he was flanked by what seemed to be five guys who were wearing the same outfits.

Were they for real, or was he just like the rest of the faded stars? We think the latter- but we leave that to you to judge. How about you, who was the last Hollywood bum you saw pedaling down some random street in your home state?

Whoever thought that the newest addition to the starry tradition of James Bond would look such a mess. Daniel Craig was recently sighted in some crowded bar. He didn’t look the part of the suave and quick-thinking British spy that could suspend a heart attack on command.

In fact, Daniel Craig looked so sweaty that it’s hard to determine whether someone poured a bowl of punch on him or he’s just naturally sweaty. And we don’t mean the hot sweaty type, we mean the yucky, smell, sweaty type. Nonetheless, he remains our Bond.

Back in eighties Michel Pfeiffer just wowed the world with her soft curls, killer smile and her bright eyes that seemed to just love the television screen. Then we saw another side of her in Dangerous Minds as that feisty woman who was nowhere near middle age. Then we see her again, already middle aged and still looking great.

To whom or to what can we attribute this dazzling preservation of outward beauty? Is it the best doctors and aesthetes around? Or is it just pure, natural Pfeiffer, who grows prettier as she ages?